A list of religions would be over a thousand lines long. Each with its own twist on the afterlife. Each one has or had a devoted following. So I will keep reading, until then. A few tantalizing hypothesis….

An Eternity hypothesis #1

Eternity <== You are here ==> Eternity
Eternity goes a long way in both directions,
Live 60 or 80 years, the outcome is the same,
You came; you went; we are but a passing thought,

The Swedenborg hypothesis # 2 (1800)

Upon dying you will awaken; angels will guide you. You will meet friends, and relatives who crossed over before. Your true inner nature will be revealed. All arrive as equals regardless of beliefs.

Heaven is apart from time and space, a collective made of good spirits for whom the animating force is God’s love. God is closer to us than the beating of our heart if we align ourselves with God’s will.

Hell is inhabited by those who act selfishly. Those who choose to inflict pain or gain power will choose hell. They perceive heavenly teachings as sickly and dismiss good people as being idealistic.

Binary Dimension Theology #2 (2020)

A rehash to appeal to those who like psuedo-physics jargon, but the same as the 17th century Swendenborg hypothesis; life is a temporary footprint of a soul in Dimension-ed space; God and by extension souls occupy un-dimension-ed space and access physical bodies via Higgs Gates. Higgs Gates are physics constructs that describe the boundary condition between the Dimension-ed and the Undimension-ed. The Dimension-ed universe is arrayed in self organizing, self repeating fractal structures; Fractal Algebra and Fractal Calculus together form Fractal Physics, which predicts the behaviors of Dimension across the entire fractal spectrum. Yah its still angels.

Karmic recycling hypothesis 1+1…

In the End only 3 things matter
1: How much you loved
2: How gently you lived
3: How you let go of things

It goes like this, you die, try to talk to those around you, no one talks back, so you go towards the light, lots of visions, once there you decide if you want to go on or return. If you choose to die, you shed your regrets and then plan for a rebirth to recharge your karma, no judgement or condemnation, unless your christian, whereupon you burn in hell for a while. After a big party with your soul family, share a few spiritual gummies with the enlightened ones and then boom, your born again.

The Dog Damn God hypothesis # 5

You will be surrounded by incorruptible goodness, loyalty, and everlasting love, of course you noticed that Dog spelled backwards is God. Proof that when you die you will spend eternity walking with angels picking up poo. Sorry friend, it was about your dog all along.

The Big Bang Theory #6

An accidental cosmic blast from which a highly successful sitcom evolved enigmatically created a tiny spec of life at the end of a primordial lightning bolt. That primitive bonding of simple elements evolved into single cell organisms that changed the planet to suit a life that never to that point existed, whereupon the moon mysteriously joined our planet in an orgasmic spinning that allowed the oceans, tides, and winds that created complex life. Against the laws of entropy we became more and more complex and flourished from simple amoeba to to lizards, to british royalty to monkeys and then finally to humans. All this and we just return to dust. Nothing. Nada.

The Judgey God Hypothesis #7

Our father, who was his own father and born of a virgin, will if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master makes you live forever in a mansion. That is the upside, the downside if you say no, or did not get the memo, you spend eternity burning in eternal pain.

An evil force; overcome you must. Because Eve (made from a rib) was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree of knowledge. It is still your fault and now you have hangups about being naked. But you do get a mansion or a dozen raisins and you get to worship god forever.

Mindfully Spiritual Hypothesis #8

You are the universe and the whole universe is in one’s mind, if you perceive the projection you will see the illusion. Live your Truth, and prepare to enter our program of pre shaman awareness, a week end in our holistic yurts guided by our shaman spiritual truthers who will rid you of the western illusions of science and wherefore in a trance you will be liberated of material burdens. Your awakening begins with mud baths, horse tranquilizers as ayahuasca, and a spirit drum same delivery from Amazon. Believe eternity is within you.

Hypothesis #42

The dolphins had long known of the impending demolition of Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger…The last ever dolphins message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double backward somersault through a hoop but in fact the message was this: “So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.”— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Its a flat earth on turtles theory #9

The world is flat, and resting on the backs of four elephants who, in turn, stand upon the back of a giant, space-faring turtle. Terry Pratchett’s Discworld explains heaven as follows

The Book of Revelation (ch. XXI, v.16) gives it as a cube 12,000 furlongs on a side. This is somewhat less than 5×10 20 cubic feet. Allowing that the Heavenly Host takes up at least two thirds of this space, this leaves about one million cubic feet of space for each human occupant, with a thousand times the number of humans alive up until now. This is a generous amount of space and suggests room has been provided for alien races or- a happy thought – that pets are allowed. (LH)

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