thinking about eternity

I saw how little it weighed on the scale of things
whether I lived or died,
though my life was precious to me.

And of those two thoughts
I forged a mood by which I stood ready
to grasp each smallest chance to live

Yet in which I cared not too much
whether I saved myself for not.
by that mood, as I think, I did live;

It has been so good a friend to me
that I have endeavored to wear it ever since,
succeeding not always, but often.

Gene Wolfe; Severian, Chapter 9: The Liege of Leaves

Somewhere in the asylum